Here Goes…

Life: Today is September 8, 2014 at 9:20 on the dot that I have started this. I’m twenty-two with no degree and have no clue when I’m getting it. Does it make me sad yes of course! But as of right now I’m getting a full time job and taking maybe one class this semester that starts in a couple of weeks. Oh yeah I’m still single and still over weight…

Friendships: well easiest first will be jade..well are like the friends that are not really close type of friends. We are type of friends where we see each other, talk, and hang out, everyyyyyyyyy now and then. As I read in my previous post yesterday I see I was hoping to have a friendship like we had in 7th grade/high school but I truly highly doubt any of that will happen..ever. I now truly believe I messed that friendship up. Like with both played a part but I know I could have been a better friend. Period. ….now moving to Mariah *sigh* and man man man. I can honestly say that our friendship has either been messed up from the beginning or our friendship really did get messed up because she chose her boyfriend over her friendship. Like I said previously it’s sept 8th and the last time I talked to her wasss I believeeeee July 3rd and that is by for the longest we’ve gone without speaking to each other and that’s that basically. I’m not sure if our friendship is completely done or not, only time will tell. I know this might sound so gay lol but I do think about her and I do miss her, hell she’s my best friend (or was :( at least). With Mariah it just feels like damn what kind of friends were we because I know for a true fact I would never try to make Mariah be around someone she doesn’t want to be around and then try to make her feel bad about. Like till this day after thinking about over and over I’m still shocked at it smh…… Losing best friends not just any old friends but best friends is truly hard.

Life continued: I want to accomplish a degree and I want to know what it feels like to own something that I bought with my money and to be to live 100%..and I want that soon veryyy very soon. Which means I need to work my ass off and stop playing around!…next….it’s weird because a guy from my school said we was together…and the huge problem with that is I didn’t know anything about thing lol funny huh smh we barelyyyyy see each other, and we only txt not talk. I talk to other ppl more that I talk to him so this is totally confusing. I guess I’ll talk about that some more another time idk we’ll see…
On to other things I need to get my weight under control like seriously, like now, because I’m holding myself back and not living my life because of my weight. I have ppl that want to hang out with me ( and I want to ah me out with them) and want to go places and chill but noooo I always come up with some type of excuse not to go because I’m embarrassed about my weight… I need more clothes and I need more shoes. Hopefully those things will come soon. I start a new job on the twenty second and can’t wait I thank God so much for it because I really need to more I’m in much debt with my mom it’s fuckin ridiculous. I really hope this job something that I like because I have a feeling I will need to be there for a while…anyway moving on.. Me and my mom..we are me and my mom lol …..hopefully when my dad is back we can have a closer relationship I just don’t know what type of mind space he’s in but thats what I hope for and I also want to be able to release of the hurt and angry feelings that I have from him not being around…time..it takes time. So yeah. That’s all that I can really think of as of right now soooo..yeah lol

Often Or Just Sometimes..I Will

Well haven’t posted anything I’m here in a long while and up until yesterday I kind of forgot I had this account and the actually app on my phone smh lol

Yesterday I was reading my previous post and I like the fact that I can go back, read, and reflect on things in the past and be able to see what kind of place I was in a month ago or a year ago. So basically even if I don’t post everyday, every week, or even every month I’m still going to make sure I post something….